Eiri rubbed his head softly as he closed his eyes, sitting in his silver PT Cruiser that he had just bought to replace the Mercedes that was wrecked. He was pissed that he had such a lame car, but there were no more blue Mercedes at the particular shop that he had went to. He also needed a roomier car because he had a feeling he would be trying to get Shuichi to just stay in the car a lot. If he’s like that when he’s in a rolling chair, I can only imagine the car ride home. Idiot.

I really don’t think I should have gone to see the psychiatrist today, of all days. It was hell to just get the prescriptions filled. Damn her and her wanting to switch my medicines because of the events that happened. I was fine before. Wasn’t my fault the damn brat plagued me.

He covered his mouth as he yawned softly. Eiri had pulled another all nighter that night, trying to frantically write at least four chapters in his document while Shuichi was still at the hospital. He did manage to make Mizuki wait two more days to meet with him but she was angry about it. The blonde felt rather tired as he leaned back against the seat, looking in his pocket for his lighter. When he found it, he found that he was too tired to even lift it, or look for his cigarettes. Maybe . . . I should just forget trying to do that manuscript today and just crash in bed. I can’t think straight anymore. It’s after the fourth day that I start . . .

He shut his eyes softly, feeling a bit dizzy. Eiri was really beginning to have doubts about his ability to take care of Shuichi, let alone himself. But he shook his head and had cleared it, trying to keep a clear head. I’m seriously going to have to talk to Hanren, Eiri decided. I forgot to ask what the side effects were. But at least she’ll see Shuichi, which takes one worry off . . . my . . . hands . . .

His head had rested on the steering wheel and he had closed his eyes for a brief moment, trying to catch some sort of sleep before having to drive Shuichi home. It took him a moment to wake up as he realized that he could hear him, even from where he was in the car.

“But what if he doesn’t come back?” Shuichi whimpered as he got out of the wheelchair, watching Eiri’s form going out of sight and to a silver car. He had found it rather hard to move in his attire, considering that Eiri had made him wear a pair of the older man’s pajamas. Ironically enough, they were a pair of pink bunny pajamas that Shuichi had bought him when they had moved to their new apartment and he was surprised Eiri even had them.

“Here,” Eiri had told him. “Wear this and shut up, brat. You’re not going in that gown. I can’t stop every woman who wants to touch your ass.”

Yuki . . . Shuichi was interrupted from his daydream of the memory as he saw him getting in the car and closing the door. He had noticed earlier that he had seemed kind of tired, but was not too worried. Yuki always stays up for days at a time and is still the same. Then a thought nagged at him and he had begun to panic as he realized he would soon be going in the car.

“What if he crashes . . . god knows he's done it enough. Or what if Tatsuha kidnaps him again?”

The blonde nurse, who Shuichi knew as Teresa, had looked to him and patted his shoulder. “Mr. Shindou, please calm down. Everything will be fine. Mr. Yuki will be right back . . . he just went to—“

Yuki! Someone’s going to make him crash! Shuichi had ignored the nurse and had begun to run toward where Eiri was, frightened at the mere thought of something happening to him. “YUKI!”

“Mr. Shindou!” Arlena exclaimed from beside Teresa. “He’s coming back!”

Before he could make it to his destination, he had made it about twelve paces away from the door and had started coughing again. Two of the male nurses that had accompanied Teresa and Arlena had grabbed Shuichi and was dragging him back to the entrance way. He began to kick and fight at them, but it made him cough harder and he stopped as he was back to where the female nurses were.

“Let me go! You bastards!” the vocalist screamed. “How dare you keep me from saving Yuki! He could be injured, or –“

“Mr. Shindou! Please calm down! Do you want to go home, or go back in there?” Teresa asked gently.

Shuichi sighed. He hated this. He hated that he had to go in that car. The car was what caused the problem in the first place. “ . . . yeah. I do. But . . . not in the car. Anything but the car,” he whimpered.

For a moment Eiri stopped the car before he got to his destination, shocked at watching Shuichi and how much he fought with the hospital staff . . . wasn't he almost asleep when I left a minute ago? The man marveled at Shuichi’s insatiable amount of energy and then groaned. God damn, that little bastard must have eaten that box of pocky before they got him down to the door. Damn kid. He had honked the horn as he hit his head against it, knowing the he was grateful that he had cancelled meeting his editor today.

“YUKI! YOU'RE ALIVE! YAY!”

He lifted his head up and saw Shuichi moving toward the car with his right arm open, ready to attach himself to him. As Eiri shook his head and stopped the car, he turned it off and opened the door, revealing himself to the boy. It was that that made Shuichi completely stop and look at him.

Violet eyes looked like he had been hit by a car as the raw emotions of fear swirled in them.

“Hey, Shu,” Eiri said, “you alright?” He knew the answer, but he wanted to see what Shuichi would do. He never thought the trauma was this bad. That seeing a car would make him relive the accident that badly.

Shuichi had just stood there, staring at Eiri for a moment before trembling and hugging him softly. “ . . . I don’t know. I don’t know, Yuki.”

Eiri patted Shuichi's head. "Come on," he said, holding him close. He wanted him to not run too far since Eiri had not felt like playing Shuichi's version of tag in the parking lot. Not to mention with the pack of cigarettes he had smoked within the last three days, he was not in the best of shape. "You ready to go home?"

Arlena had walked up to the blonde nurse and nodded to her. "You have to admit, Teresa, they are remarkable."

“That they are,” Teresa agreed. “And not to mention entertaining, I haven’t cried or laughed this much in years!”

A comedy act? Eiri thought, rather . . . amused by the idea. Even though it was not funny to me at the time, looking back . . . there are other ways I could have acted. But this was all needed for something. And Shuichi seems to be doing much better because of these nurses.

So if a little embarrassment was needed . . .

Arlena smiled. "Neither have I. But I think they'll be back...even if I'll miss the cold hearted novelist. But I must say, don't you think the rumors are wrong?" She talked in a hush whisper, acting as if Eiri did not hear her.

“Very wrong, I think,” Teresa whispered back. “It's just his way of keeping his private life private. I am going to miss watching him run by in a hospital gown though. Linda got pictures.”

Arlena smirked. “What a sly move that was. I guess she’ll share them later.”

“She better not,” Eiri muttered.

“Oh, I don’t mean with the media. We needed some memento of your wonderful visit,” Teresa told him, beaming at Eiri. “After all, it was the most fun I had working at the hospital in 3 years.”

Eiri just continued to glare at her. “I’ll give you 10,000 yen if you can get the pictures from her.”

“But I wanna go home, Yuuuki!” Shuichi whined softly. “I don’t want anymore random people waking me up every 20 minutes to poke at me,” Shuichi buried his head into Eiri’s green shirt, which he just ironed that morning. “And I want food. I’m tired of not eating . . . I really wanted some pocky.”

Eiri sighed. "Well what are you waiting for, Shu?" He asked, glancing down at the pink haired vocalist who was just gazing at him, his little arm wrapped around him. He had to admit, this was one of the better moments of the last two weeks. He liked that Shuichi could stand up and hug him and that he would not hurt him if he hugged his lover. But then a sad look passed in his eyes and for a moment, his heart felt pain.

“I guess I have to let go then, huh?” Shuichi whispered. “But . . . “

Eiri smirked as he grabbed Shuichi's hand and pulled him toward the PT Cruiser that was behind him. "That would help, unless you're planning something I don't know about." He winked at him.

A smile came from Shuichi and Eiri nodded to him as he opened the car door for him. At the fact of opening the door, his smile vanished and he began to dig his feet into the ground. Eiri had a good hold on his hand as he moved behind him.

"Don't lock up on me, Shuichi. Either you get in the car or you probably won't be able to go home." He looked concerned as his eyes glanced at him.

Arlena sighed. "We might need to bring him back after all," she told Teresa. "You have the tranquilizer ready?"

Teresa nodded. “I just hope we don’t have to use it.”

“Give me a minute,” Shuichi whispered. “I can . . . I can—“

"Thirty seconds," Eiri said. He had hoped that Shuichi would be able to do this on his own. He would not let the nurses sedate him, but he would carry him bodily into the car if he had to. I’m just glad that K and Fujisaki didn’t come to see him off. They would scare the hell out of him. Nakano . . . he would at least get him in the car, maybe even be able to drive with him.

I should have gotten Nakano to come with me.

God . . . Eiri thought as he stood behind Shuichi, holding his head, I’m really starting to feel dizzy. I should have taken a nap before picking the brat up. But I can make up for that when we get home.

Shuichi had now gotten into the back seat of the car and had sat in the seat. Eiri’s eyes turned to look at him and smiled. This was the first step. But then Shuichi jumped up and cried in fear. “NO! I can’t! I can’t, Yuki! Don’t make me!”

Damn it, I guess I’m going to have to do this the hard way. "Yes," Eiri said, getting in his face, "You can." Before Shuichi could get out of the car Eiri had locked the car door and had shut it on Shuichi. He then hurried over to the other side and had opened the door and had got in. "Look, you don't want to go back there, do you?"

Shuichi gazed at him and breathed hard, gripping at the seat in the back of the car tightly with his right hand. “N . . . no.” His body tensed quickly and his voice trembled. “Yuki . . . I don’t wanna do this. I wanna go home, Yuki. Yuki . . .”

Eiri sighed as he started the car, making sure to lock all the doors. "Shuichi, I won't keep you in the car long. Can you try to calm down?" He then took the car out of park and into drive, driving slowly off the parking lot, noting that he had all the prescriptions in his jacket. He would go get them filled when he got Shuichi home, but he debated on letting Tatsuha do it. He did not know yet. After all, his brother still owed him for not putting him in jail.

He’s trying, Eiri thought as he saw Shuichi relaxing a bit and slumping against the seat. Maybe he’ll fall asleep and he’ll actually forget he’s in the car. Yet the blonde was struggling to stay awake himself as he drove, pulling down the flap in the front so the sun would not hit in his eyes. He cursed himself as he forgot that he left the sunglasses on his nightstand near the couch.

He was not really focusing on anything as he allowed his mind to wander back into his thoughts. Eiri ran through his mental checklist of things he needed to do. He felt in his pocket for the prescriptions that were in there for Shuichi and had made a note to look at what was prescribed after they had stopped. He also noted that he had another three chapters left to go on that story he was putting together and made another note to take a nap soon as he got home since his head seemed to be hurting from lack of sleep.

Eiri was starting to lull into a rhythm of driving and falling asleep while driving when a scream brought him out of his reverie.

“STOP THE CAR!”

His eyes tore away for a minute as he saw Shuichi trying to frantically open the car door. He was lucky that he had child locks on the back doors and was grateful now for putting him in that place to begin with. Sighing, he looked back at the road and had found a safe spot to pull over, parking the car and leaving his foot on the pedal as he looked back at Shuichi. “What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Shuichi, meanwhile, was ramming his shoulder into the door, pulling up on the lock. He could see that Shuichi was panicking rather hard now as he screamed loudly. “LET ME OUT! YUKI! LET ME OUT!”

His eyes stopped glaring at him as he reach over to grab his hand, unbuckling his seat belt so he could reach over better. It was rather hard for him to yell at someone who was so petrified, and Shuichi certainly was. "Shuichi, calm down. I'm not even driving right now. Just . . . calm down."

“No! I have to get out! It's gonna happen again!” Shuichi sniffled as he grabbed tightly onto Eiri’s hand before he let go and resumed trying to get out of the car, if in vain.

"What's going to happen?" Eiri asked as he made the seat lean back and had scooted up in his seat, grabbing his shoulders now to stop him. "Come on, tell me."

“You don’t understand, Yuki! We're going to crash!”What the hell did you do to him, Tatsuha? Ryuichi? He can't even SIT in the car without thinking of that happened...which was . . . what? Even I don't know. He tried to shake Shuichi and to pull him out of his daydream.

“I don’t want it to happen again!” Tears made their way down his cheeks as he huddled in a corner, trying to push Eiri off him. “I said I don’t want to go with you, Tatsuha! GET OFF ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!”

"Damn it," Eiri swore. "Whatever you did, I'm really going to kill you for, Tatsuha." He then had grabbed him again, this time going for the sleeve of his huge bunny pajama shirt. "Shuichi, do I look like Tatsuha? Do I even sound like him? Look at me."

Eiri was beginning to think that buying that carton of Marlboros was a good idea as he saw his lover in the throes of hysteria. He had just watched him. He could not even think of yelling at him, because he saw him as Tatsuha. He could not try to comfort him, because he would push him away, thinking he was Tatsuha. At this point, Eiri was beginning to think that Tatsuha and Ryuichi did not tell him everything about the accident, and he would have to probe deeper to find out everything that was done to his tart that was flipping out in the back seat of the PT Cruiser.

His head throbbed as he groaned, trying to see Shuichi clearly. He was becoming rather distorted and began to have tunnel vision as he saw him taking off the seat belt and crying in fear as he frantically tried to roll the window down. “LET ME OUT! I DON’T WANNA GO THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD AGAIN!”

"Shuichi!" Eiri had leaned back into the seat and had cursed himself for being tall and built more muscular. He had managed to press the locks for all the windows. He siged in relief as he saw the window that Shuichi was pushing down on was beginning to go back up. A mangled cry escaped his lips as he sighed in relief. Ok, I think I'm glad I brought the car that I had the safety features installed in. His head leaned back against the seat, taking a deep breath and feeling dizzy again.

“LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT NOW!” He heard someone banging against the door. Shuichi . . . He turned his head around to find that Shuichi had been banging with both arms, forgetting about the cast on his right hand. “Stop that! You’ll break your arm again, idiot!”

Shuichi did not even hear him as he tried to move to the other side of the back seat, pushing away from something. “I don’t . . . let me out,” he cried pitifully. “I wanna go home . . . I don’t want you . . . Tatsu . . . ha . . . “

Eiri just looked in horror at the once happy go lucky rock star. He never could imagine him flipping out like this, except when Eiri had kicked him out of the house the few times they had gotten into fights. Even when he went to New York, it wasn't this bad. Shuichi still wasn't . . . traumatized like this.

His heart hurt. His screams chilled his soul.

I really fucked up this time.

Shuichi had went back to punching the door on the other side, but his punches were weaker with his left arm. His voice was softer and his eyes drooped now that he felt hopeless. He knew he was not able to get out of the car. “I just want to go home,” he sobbed softly. “I don’t want to die . . .I don’t want to get hurt again . . . “

Eiri had turned off the car and had pocketed the keys as he somehow managed to crawl in the back seat with Shuichi, taking the sobbing vocalist in his arms, holding him. "You won't. You aren't with them, you're with me, now. Do I ever let other people hurt you, Shuichi? When I can help it, I mean?"

His heart broke more at the sight of Shuichi grabbing his shirt tightly and holding it to the point that it would rip if he pried the boy off him. “But I see it! I see it again! It’s going to happen!” His hysteria made him cough again and Eiri patted his back so he could attempt to breathe. “I know it is! Just let me out, Yuki! I can’t take this! I can’t . . .”

"Shuichi . . . " Eiri tried again to get through to him but it seemed that it was falling behind deaf ears. He ran a hand through his hair. "You aren't going to die. You aren't going to get hurt. You're right here. With me. So . . . "

“But,” Shuichi whispered, “it's going to hurt you too, if we crash again!”

"No. It won't." It was hard for him to remain calm when he wanted to go find Tatsuha and bash his head again. He hated to see Shuichi like this. He really did hate for him to be in pain.

To be reliving his nightmares and hiding them from Eiri. That part hurt him the most. That he would pretend he was alright so that the man would not worry. But it made him worry more for Shuichi and he wanted Shuichi to realize that. In love . . . no matter what you do, the other feels the other’s pain, feels their worries, hears their cries. Even if we don’t want to admit it . . .

We both love each other.

“Yes it will," Shuichi murmured, flickering his violet eyes as he yawned. “It’ll . . . hurt . . . you . . .Yuki.” He had nuzzled into Eiri’s chest, his grip on his shirt loose now as he was exhausted from crying.

He noticed that Shuichi’s breathing was shallow from the excitement. He had to calm him down. His arms wrapped tighter around the boy. "Hey, Shuichi." He had looked down at him and saw the exhaustion on his face. He couldn't help but think of how cute it was to have him so vulnerable in his arms. And then . . .

Damn it! No! Eiri! He scolded himself. The last thing you want him to remember is you taking him in the back seat of your car! Get your head out of the gutter! Just because you haven’t had any in two weeks does not mean you rape him the first chance you’re alone with him! Wait till he’s half awake first, and at home . . .

Instead he had kissed his forehead, a hand pulling him close by his neck. "Are you going to be okay now?"

Shuichi took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. “I think so.”

He sighed in relief and put Shuichi back on the seat and hooked the seat belt on him. Eiri noted that he was ready to fall asleep just from sheer exhaustion. Then again, so was the novelist, but he was trying hard not to let it show as he rubbed his eyes. "Can you keep calm until we get home? We're an hour away from the house."

“I’ll try.”

Eiri nodded. They were finally getting somewhere. "Good. It might be better if you just went to sleep for right now. You look really tired, Shuichi." His head leaned towards the other and had captured his lips softly for a moment. "And if you're tired, just let yourself sleep and I'll wake you when we get home." He had moved over to the front seat and had wormed his way back into it, pushing the seat back up. The man groaned because his body hurt as he started the car back up again, putting the seat belt on.

Looking in the rear view mirror, he saw that Shuichi’s face had paled as he turned the car on and his eyes opened a little bit. His one hand clutched onto the seat belt tightly.

Then Eiri had an idea. Maybe if I play the radio, he might start singing and he might stop thinking about the accident. I’m lucky his voice is good, and it might keep me awake. "You want the radio on?" He put the car back in drive and had merged into the lane of traffic, driving again.

“Mmm, ok.”

Eiri had pushed a button, turning the radio on and had made a sigh of relief as he heard the radio play a song by Nittle Grasper. He did not know what this one was called but he knew mostly anything to do with Nittle Grasper would calm him down.

It worked! Eiri thought happily as he heard Shuichi singing softly in the back seat. Hopefully he’ll keep calm until we get home. I can’t pull off on the highway without anyone noticing. But as long as I have the radio on, maybe I can see if I can find out about what happened . . . he might not flip out so badly about it.

"Hey, Shu. Can I ask something?"

Shuichi stopped singing as Eiri looked in the rear view mirror. He looked rather surprised and blinked. “Ahh, sure.”

". . .what happened? I mean . . . that day?” Eiri yawned at the end of his sentence as he blinked. The motion of driving was putting him to sleep as well. He really had not been able to sleep well in the last two weeks since he was always with Shuichi in the hospital, trying to stop him from panicking. But he forced his eyes open. He had to get them home and he could not let Shuichi see him like this.

He might begin to panic again. That was the last thing Eiri needed.

“W . . . what do you mean what happened?” Shuichi asked shakily, fidgeting with his hands.

"You know what I'm talking about," he told him, stopping at a red light. His head rested against the wheel for a moment. God, what’s wrong with me? Everything’s so blurry . . . He put a hand on his forehead as he groaned. "You screamed about the windshield or something," he murmured.

“Oh . . . it's nothing really.”

Eiri lifted his head as he saw the light turn green and shake his head. Damn, it must have kicked in early. Usually that medicine takes a hour or two to actually make me feel like this . . . why is he still lying to me? "Shuichi . . . did I do something that horrible to you that you have to lie to me now?" He truly was hurt that he would do something like this to him when all he was trying to do was help Shuichi.

“What? No!” Shuichi screamed, looking really nervous. “Why would you think that, Yuki?”

Eiri looked at him through the rear view mirror and had a hurt look on his face. "Because you've never lied to me so blatantly on how you felt, Shuichi. And that's all you been doing to me since you woke up from surgery."

“I just . . . I didn’t want to stress you out is all. I mean, I know that if you stress out, you get sick easily, right?” Shuichi forced a smile. “There's no use into going into pointless details right? It's over now so let's just move on . . .”

"Shut up, and listen to me before you start blabbering about something you feel you have to say," Eiri barked at him. He admitted it was a little harsh, but . . . he sped up a bit and pulled off to the side of the road, slamming the brakes as he pulled up the emergency break and had shut the car down to look at him. "You're lying to yourself about how you are. You're not alright, and how can you move on when you can't deal with being in the fucking car? How can you when you have nightmares?” Eiri paused to look back behind him and glare at Shuichi.

“How can you when you flash back to that time, you see me as my idiotic brother? You can't just move on from something like this so quickly."

“You have nightmares too!” Shuichi cried, covering his hand over his mouth afterwards as he realized what he said.

How did he know that? Eiri asked himself. No one told him about . . . when he was out . . . did they?

“But I don’t want to talk about it . . . it scares me!”

"And that's what worries me, Shuichi. You always talk about stuff. Even if you don't think anyone cares. You're happy, bubbly and you're always trying to do something. Now you're all quiet. It's like you died and were replaced with someone else.'

“But that's how I feel!” Shuichi exclaimed.

Eiri blinked a moment as he held his head in his hands, blinking sleepily. God dammit . . . not now . . .

“You wanna know why I’m so freaked? Cause every time I get in a car, all I see is us crashing into the guard rail! I see us crash and then I see everyone getting out of the car and leaving me behind again! And getting thrown out of a back windshield while a car blows up is NOT fun! It fucking hurts!” The tears ran down his face again.

Eiri's eyes hardened as he shook his head, his vision blurring more. He hated medication now. He honestly did not think that it would affect him so quickly. But what was that . . . Simbiax and Valium . . . ? He really was tired. His head felt heavy as he yawned again and looked at Shuichi. "They did leave you in the car? They said you were passed out and didn't realize you were in the car . . . but I didn't know a lot about it. Those idiots wouldn't tell me . . ."

Shuichi had pulled his legs up on the seat, wrapping his good arm around them. He noticed through the mirror at how it was cradled over top his knees and knew it had to be hurting after he banged on the door with it. “Yeah, well . . . now you know. So can we just go home?” Then Shuichi’s face pouted for a moment as he realized something. “Aw man! I bet I missed almost all of my shows! Damn it!”

Only he would think about that . . . what a strange kid. Was this who I fell in love with? Or will I get to learn more about him? I’m kind of scared to . . . but . . .

I want to.

Eiri laughed before closing his eyes. "Strange one, you are kid." He smirked as he turned around and undid his seat belt to look at him. "Hey, Shu . . . why didn't you tell me before . . . " he trailed off, his body moving to go in the back seat to sit with Shuichi. His eyes blinked again. They remained half lidden as he got next to the boy and had looked at him, trying to not see two forms of him.

“I don’t know.” Shuichi shrugged. “I didn’t think it was important, I guess. After all, you were really upset and I was fighting to stay alive . . . I couldn’t really talk and . . . I didn’t want you to go on a murderous rampage . . . cause you’re hard to talk to when you’re mad, especially if I get hurt. Not that I don’t like you saving me,” Shuichi added hastily, laughing as he scratched his head, “but if they drugged you, someone could have groped you, and then I would have had to kick their asses for someone laying a hand on my Yuki!”

He’s really trying to pretend, isn’t he? Or is he telling the truth? Right now, I can’t tell which one is which . . . He just stared intently at Shuichi, trying to comprehend what he was saying. Eiri was more interested in Shuichi’s eyes, though, and had stared at them hard.

Of course, the one time that Eiri was, Shuichi just kept on talking. But Eiri did not mind. He just could admire his eyes more.

“ . . . and I really wasn’t in the mood to do that. And you can’t deny it because I heard all about your little streaking adventure in the hospital.”

Eiri’s face blushed crimson and Shuichi giggled, amused by seeing his lover blush, since it happened so rarely. "Your fault, for haunting me so damn much."

“I saw pictures too. I can tell that those nurses are really going to miss you.” Shuichi smirked. “One of the nurses had pictures of the whole thing. She was just going on duty and was showing Teresa the camera when she snapped a few test pictures and . . . well, when she found out, she wasn’t willing to give up any of them. They were talking about it outside my room one day and I heard people asking her for copies, but she wouldn’t give them out.”

“Oh really?” Eiri asked, grinning devilishly at him. “And you know this, how?”

“Cause I heard her, Yuki!” Shuichi said. “She said she wouldn’t, even if they gave her a million dollars. She wanted to be buried with those pictures!”

"So even you couldn't get one . . . I’m kind of disappointed.” But then again, why would he need one? He’s got the real deal, right here . . . and right now. And I don’t understand . . . I should be upset that he didn’t get those pictures. But . . .

His eyes . . . damn it . . .

His head moved nearer to Shuichi. "You know, the next time they throw your phone out the window, do me a favor and punch my brother for me. I don't ever want anyone to steal you away from me. Not even . . . " His nose touched Shuichi's. "Not even just a kiss."

And no one will touch you again, Shuichi. Not even on those lips of yours. Those pretty pink lips . . . Then Eiri shook his head softly just as Shuichi was talking. He was acting like a sixteen year old who wanted to have his virginity taken for the first time. In fact, he felt pretty good, despite the fact that he felt rather tired and . . .

Shit. I knew something was up with those pills, he thought, it breaking through his mind before he went back into his daze of lust. But I have to try to not show him something’s wrong. I’m just tired. They couldn’t make me feel like this. Honestly. It’s not like Shuichi isn’t good in bed, but . . .

Why the hell am I thinking of him like this now? I can’t. Damn it, I have to get us home!

Yet . . . would a kiss hurt? Just one . . . ?

God dammit, Eiri!

“Don’t worry. K wants me to carry a gun or hire a bodyguard.” Shuichi grinned broadly. “He even said he would get me a stun gun so that people can stop kidnappi—”

Eiri lowered his head and had captured his lips, his arms wrapping around him as he did so. "I'm not letting you have a gun," he whispered in his ear. "Remember what I told that man? Starting then, I would beat anyone's ass who took you without my permission."

“Does that still stand now?” Shuichi asked, letting Eiri hold him.

“Sure does, brat.”

”Good, cause I’m tired of being yanked around. It’s like I have a sign that says ‘damsel in distress’ or something.”

The novelist licked his lips and blew into Shuichi's ear. "You do. Just . . . not where anyone can see, Shu."

“Then how come everyone keeps kidnapping me? Why did Tatsuha and Ryuichi?” Shuichi asked softly, frustrated and tired.

"Because Tatsuha did the same thing I did," Eiri confessed as he sighed and had rested his head on Shuichi's shoulder, closing his eyes. "He saw Ryuichi through you." He then sat up and blinked hard. "I'm going to attempt one more time to actually drive home." His gold eyes were sleepy as he fell back against the seat, ready to pass out at any given second.

“I told Tatsuha that . . .” Shuichi muttered as he looked to Eiri, looking concerned as he saw him closing his eyes. “Yuki, maybe you should like . . .take a nap or something . . . You look like you're going to fall asleep.”

That actually sounds like a good idea . . . But . . . there’s just too much to do. I can’t . . . Damn it! "I can't leave the car on the side of the road, you damn brat," he murmured softly. "I have to try to finish this story before tomorrow . . . Mizuki is pissed enough cause I haven't worked on a damn thing." Except wanting to see you naked in my bed . . . God damn it, what the hell is wrong with me?

“She’s like Fujisaki!” Shuichi whined. “She can’t understand that you were busy with other stuff and couldn’t concentrate . . .” Shuichi blinked as he watched Eiri’s eyes struggling to stay open. “Yuki, you have to sleep! You can barely stay awake!”

"But there's too much to do," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I need to get you home and then grab your medicine after I drop off the prescriptions and then work on that manuscript . . ." Once again he shook his head, blinking slowly every few seconds.

“No, you need to stay with me and sleep,” he barely Shuichi insist. “If you don’t take care of yourself then I’m fucked!”

Shuichi . . . I . . . he looks so vulnerable . . . tired and pouty . . . he looks fuckable right now . . . No . . . but . . .what the hell, he does, right?

He’s a little ball of fluff that’s waiting to be screwed.

But I don’t know if . . . Eiri . . . what the hell are you doing! Just get the fluffball before he runs away!

“You want to?” Eiri asked as he licked his lips and looked at him. “Cause you said you—“

“Don’t look at me like that, Yuki!” Shuichi screamed as his eyes went big. “You’re usually so cold to me . . . why you be so nice, Yuki . . . you’re freaking me out . . .”

"Yeah, but how would you want me to fuck you? Hard and fast or slow and gentle?” His voice purred as he meowed softly at him. His eyes were warm as he leaned his head over to his lover and stole another kiss. Shuichi was too shocked to do anything and just let Eiri kiss him, tensing after he pulled away. “And then, after I gently torment you, my little fluffball, I could get Nakano to take care of you, if you wanted," he said.

Shuichi just gasped at him in shock. “Y . . . Yuki . . . what the hell?”

"Besides, there's plenty of time to make up for that later. And I don't have time to sleep. And if you don't get your medicines, the doctor said you could catch pneumonia. I'll just drink more coffee or something like that."

“It’s obvious that you haven’t slept in some time. When was the last time you actually went to bed, Eiri?” He had lapsed to using his lover’s first name, because he was simply shocked at the fact that Eiri was acting like an idiot.

When was the last time I slept? That should be a simple question. “Ahh. . . .I think Monday . . . I’m not too sure. Right now . . . why would I want to sleep? I need to get things done and I had a pot of coffee at the house . . . I could just make some more . . .”

“If you don’t sleep, you're going to pass out, Yuki!”

Eiri laughed. "Yeah. I guess, Shu." He pushed himself off the seat and attempted to go back to the front seat, his eyes burning now. Damn, I guess I can’t screw him now. Tohma must have taught him how to mother me . . .

Wait . . . speaking of Tohma . . . I hope he didn’t try to---

“. . . Eiri!”

What the hell? His head blearily turned around, his mouth half open as his body began to betray him, the drugs winning as they started to shut his brain and his thinking down. "Huh?"

Shuichi held up three fingers as Eiri looked at him. “Tell me, how many fingers I’m holding up?”

What kind of question is that? Doesn’t he know he’s holding up six fingers? "That's a stupid question," he retorted.

“If it's so stupid, Yuki, then answer and tell me to shut up!” Shuichi yelled. “Now tell me, how many fingers am I holding up?”

"Still stupid," he muttered as he turned back around, his body falling over to the passenger's seat instead of his destination. “Twelve.”

“Yuki, I’m going to call Hiro,” Shuichi told him, his voice shaking as he was freaking out. “There’s no fucking way you can drive. If you do, I’ll probably panic because quite frankly, you just . . . aren’t here anymore. Did aliens abduct you or something?”

"I'll . . . I'll be fine," he told him as he forced his sleep deprived body to go back over to the drivers seat and leaned back against it, trying to stay awake for more then a few seconds. Everything was out of focus and hazy and Shuichi’s voice was far away. He really just wanted to lay his head down.

And the steering wheel was so inviting ---

“Yuki, I don’t think—“

"Shuichi. Do me a favor . . .” Eiri’s voice murmured as he looked out the windshield, torn between wanting to go and cuddle with Shuichi and trying to stay awake enough to drive back home . . . and then screw the hell out of Shuichi. I really must have been sex deprived . . . damn, what the hell is wrong with me?

But Shuichi looks so cute . . . Eiri whimpered softly as he looked back at Shuichi, who looked confused. He looked at him deeply for a moment before turning away.

EIRI. Drive. And STOP LOOKING AT SHUICHI.

“Ahh . . . Yuki?” Shuichi asked slowly, not sure what to think.

“Keep me awake long enough to drive home. I think there’s something wrong with me.” He tried to reach for the keys in his pocket, but his head softly rested on the steering wheel, laying down to stop the world from spinning.